Sunday, January 31, 2010

Which of Me Is More Important? All of ME

This weekend i wanted and needed to take time to figure out what i need to do with myself and how to proceed within the ministry i have been given to care for. as i proceed within my leather life, i have begun to see many changes within myself. i have, yes Goddess, tried to fight them, not in the most pleasant of ways and am becoming unsuccessful at trying to fight off what is an obvious part of self. though the initial part of my ministry was geared towards the transgender community only, i have lately been attracting questions from many within the leather lifestyle. T/they have been mostly African American submissives, who i guess feel comfortable speaking with another submissive, in ministry. within our leather community i have noticed that submissives may only feel comfortable asking certain things of other submissives and questions of Spirituality are and can be quite personal. some Dominants either do not have the proper answers and because of that feel the need to throw their Dominance around when it is actually a time that requires compassion and understanding. so, that may be another reason God has placed me here.

i say all of this to say that my audience has either changed or expanded and i am, admittingly, at a crossroads and honestly a bit confused. i am still relatively new to the leather community, but not to ministry and workings of God. i have learned, for the most part, to go with the flow. i will admit, though, i am at a lost on how to proceed from this point. it is important for me to bring freedom of spirituality to as many people as i possibly can and if God is showing me that a certain venue is taken care of and/or closed, i am willing to go in the direction that is needed of me at this time. there is also the possibility that God is showing me that i need to widen my work and that i am not meant to focus on just one group of people, but on all that require my help(that may require a name change of my ministry...LOL).

it is also a way for me to deal with the feelings and situations that i have had bottled up within me for a long time. many people will find some things i will soon do unpleasant and difficult to handle, but i put nothing past God when HE needs U/us to take a better look at how W/we view others around U/us.

getting back on topic, if i ever really got off-i am also aware that many transgender people of color are not yet ready to move away from the traditions of church, even within the LGB&T church communities. those individuals of color(not necessarily transgender)within the leather community seem to be more open minded and are willing to follow different paths of spirituality. they understand the connection between spirituality& bdsm/kink/leather.

to this end, it is time for me to decide where and how to move forward with The Joshua TransGeneration. i do feel the need to concentrate on those within my leather community. whether this what will happen has not yet been decided, but the final decision will soon be made. if you have an opinion, feel free to let me know.

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