Which of Me Is More Important? All of ME

This weekend i wanted and needed to take time to figure out what i need to do with myself and how to proceed within the ministry i have been given to care for. as i proceed within my leather life, i have begun to see many changes within myself. i have, yes Goddess, tried to fight them, not in the most pleasant of ways and am becoming unsuccessful at trying to fight off what is an obvious part of self. though the initial part of my ministry was geared towards the transgender community only, i have lately been attracting questions from many within the leather lifestyle. T/they have been mostly African American submissives, who i guess feel comfortable speaking with another submissive, in ministry. within our leather community i have noticed that submissives may only feel comfortable asking certain things of other submissives and questions of Spirituality are and can be quite personal. some Dominants either do not have the proper answers and because of that feel the need to throw their Dominance around when it is actually a time that requires compassion and understanding. so, that may be another reason God has placed me here.

i say all of this to say that my audience has either changed or expanded and i am, admittingly, at a crossroads and honestly a bit confused. i am still relatively new to the leather community, but not to ministry and workings of God. i have learned, for the most part, to go with the flow. i will admit, though, i am at a lost on how to proceed from this point. it is important for me to bring freedom of spirituality to as many people as i possibly can and if God is showing me that a certain venue is taken care of and/or closed, i am willing to go in the direction that is needed of me at this time. there is also the possibility that God is showing me that i need to widen my work and that i am not meant to focus on just one group of people, but on all that require my help(that may require a name change of my ministry...LOL).

it is also a way for me to deal with the feelings and situations that i have had bottled up within me for a long time. many people will find some things i will soon do unpleasant and difficult to handle, but i put nothing past God when HE needs U/us to take a better look at how W/we view others around U/us.

getting back on topic, if i ever really got off-i am also aware that many transgender people of color are not yet ready to move away from the traditions of church, even within the LGB&T church communities. those individuals of color(not necessarily transgender)within the leather community seem to be more open minded and are willing to follow different paths of spirituality. they understand the connection between spirituality& bdsm/kink/leather.

to this end, it is time for me to decide where and how to move forward with The Joshua TransGeneration. i do feel the need to concentrate on those within my leather community. whether this what will happen has not yet been decided, but the final decision will soon be made. if you have an opinion, feel free to let me know.

Pregnant Transmen????

There is now a '2nd' trans man that has decided, for whatever reason, to make their pregnancy public. Some, in the transgender community, are outraged and others have been understanding or at least have thrown out the 'its his body to do with as he wishes' words of support. Some have even gone as far as to get upset because a radio commentator has spoken his feelings on the air. Well, I know we are talking about it, so why shouldn't they?

I have to admit to being torn. On one hand, I'm like it is his body. However, I'm also thinking about our community overall and how much work goes into our very existence every single day. Many of us have worked real hard at gaining respect for our decision to change sex and gender and to educate everyone on what that means. We are still in the throws of fighting for job, housing, marriage and bathroom equality. Now, once again, someone has chosen a bad time to stop up the drain with their own personal agenda, not thinking about how it will effect the community overall.

This is no different then how many people in communities of color respond when someone does something that will inevitably cast a shadow of doubt on us all. You can say what you want, but you know it is the same feeling and its not a good one. A transgender sistah of mine asked me yesterday, 'why can't a man just be a man?' Well, this is another difference between the white community and the POC community.
When we, as people of color, decide to change our gender, for the most part we stick to it pretty damn heavy.

We have stated emphatically that we are MEN just like other men and now we are saying what? That we can have babies anytime we want. So, we are not like other men, i guess. I know my Mistress would say that we aren't because if we were she would not have me in her bed or having sex with me. So, we are different? I know when I 'knew' I was a man, having a baby wasn't anywhere in my plans because I didn't grow up around men getting pregnant, but I guess the world is changing. The question is still what will these changes cost us?

Loss of a Friend

Yesterday we commemorated the life of Martin Luther King Jr, who gave himself in service so others could live a better life. Well on January 14, the transgender community lost a man, Dr. Maxwell Anderson, who also lived a life in service. Maxwell helped so many people transgender and allies, to live a better life. Maxwell was is well known for partaking in Southern comfort, a documentary that focused on Robert Eads a transgender man who died of ovarian cancer. Robert and Maxwell were good friends. Actually Maxwell past almost ten years to the day that Robert did. It is the belief of many that Robert and Maxwell are enjoying each others company, probably throwing back a few beers, looking down on us and cracking up at all the hoopla everyone is going through.

It was indeed to be able to call Maxwell friend and I am sure many are able to that. He was the type of person, who you felt warm and fuzzy with immediately after meeting him. He was always enjoying life and those around him. Maxwell loved deep and hard and it showed in all he did and that was done for him. Tomorrow we will all gather to say our final good byes to Maxwell, trusting and believing that he is and will continue to walk with us in all we do.

The best way to continue Maxwell's legacy is to continue to help one another be the best we can be.

Jesus-Perfect Example of a Good Bottom

There has always been a big divide between the so called 'Religious community' and those they consider us to be 'sinners'. I'm sure because of this I will get some flack for this blog, even from those who consider themselves liberal minded. When it comes to BDSM, many have no idea who we are or how we truly live. As a submissive in the Leather/BDSM/ Kink community, it is clear to me that Jesus was a perfect example of obedience to a Daddy/Dominant/Master. Jesus accepted his calling in life as one who was meant to serve and did so with no question and very little resistance. In a short story written by Phoenix Flora for the book Some Women, she writes: The crucifixion. "What better example is there of how to be a good little boy for your daddy than our very own Jesus of Nazareth. The details could fill a thousand fantasies. The soldiers-UNIFORMS- blindfolded him and tied him up. They dressed him in drag. Then they stripped him of his clothes in front of a multitude of people. Then...then those big hunky soldiers beat the daylights out of him. Blood dripping down his body...Crack! Every Easter we are reminded of his masochism. We celebrate it. But we mustn't forget his humiliation amidst all this delicious pain. Oh no. The people gathered and laughed at him, called him names. They spat on him, made him grovel on the ground. He submitted to all of these things, not arguing with any of them, just to please his daddy. Yes, that's right, just to please his daddy. Teach me to be like you, Jesus. We should all be such good bottoms."